The Lotus Temple is
apparently the only thing really worth seeing in Delhi (anyone I’ve spoken to
said they left Delhi straight after arriving, it’s not a horrible place but
there isn’t really much to see). There’s
the Red Fort but we were told Agra fort is very much the same but a lot bigger
so to go there instead. So we decided to
start out 186km drive down to Agra. Now,
in my mind that’s about as far as Weymouth to London so that’s roughly 3
hours. Turns out the large amount of
road tax we pay and our strict driving laws do a lot for our travel times as
roads are properly cemented, pot holes remain at a maximum size of about 15cm² and you’re not constantly
having to slam the brakes on and make evasive manoeuvres. The Journey to Agra was expected to take at
least 5hrs (we made it to the hotel in 6hrs) and the whole way we were lucky to
hit 50km/h. No wonder the bus took
7hrs!
Cars seem to be able to
overtake on either side and they don’t even need a lane to do it in. If there’s space to get past they’ll go
through whether it’s on the other side of the road with oncoming traffic metres
away from you (central reservations don’t even deter them), or if it causes a
tuk tuk or smaller vehicle to be pushed out of the way/almost capsized or even
if it’s off the boundaries of the road in the dirt. If they want to get past then by jove they’ll
find a way! Right of way seems to purely
be done on how big your vehicle is so the bicycles get a really bum deal and
lorries pretty much just do what they want and everyone else just avoids them. When any vehicles pass each other the car
coming from behind beeps to signal they are there. This could be quite a good idea when passing
large lorries with big blind spots but I remain confident that’s it’s easier
for other cars to just check their mirrors and indicate. I think I saw 1 car indicate during our whole
journey (and as I write this up more than 24hrs later our driver has not
indicated once). Beeping accounts for
indicating, breaking, changing lanes, mirror checks, overtaking and anything
else except actually warning drivers to a hazard (which I believe is the
original intention of the horn but after so long listening to them beep I think
they were purely intended to make me pray for deafness) Mirror, signal, manoeuvre? Just beep. Think Bike?
Just beep. Look, look then look
again? Beep! Right-of-way? Right of what? I think you mean
beep! The lorries even have ‘beep
please’ painted on the back!
When in the bustle of the
city all the beeps just blend into one and it’s quite entertaining witnessing
the crazy things the drivers do and the death defying crashes they amazingly
avert. How on earth anyone in Britain
has ever crashed a car is unbelievable after seeing these people get by without
hitting each other. It’s got to be seen
to be believed.
With all this constant
beeping (literally every 20 seconds maximum) and hard breaking and random,
aggressive speed bumps it’s impossible to consider taking a nap on the back
seat and with no music to listen to it’s going to be a long drive.
The methods of transport
utilized for moving of large objects by locals is hilarious! We started playing moped bingo to see what
the largest, most obscure item we could see being transported on a moped. The best ones were a 6ft sheet of glass,
about 10 steel poles around 8ft in length and a MASSIVE roll of bubble wrap (at
least 1.5metres in diameter and about the same in height). If the locals don’t have mopeds these kind of
things are carried on bicycles instead, some pulling carriages some just on
their handle bars or strapped above the back wheel. I had a hard time standing still in Delhi
without wanting to faint just to escape the heat so to see these guys fully
clothed in trousers and shirts riding bikes is harsh enough but you’ve got to
feel for them when they’re pulling such a weight and then have to get off and
push their bikes up a hill. One guy had
a cart full of bricks for crying out loud!
Being awake meant I could
take in all the scenery though which was interesting. On the way out of Delhi it was just lots of
run down shops selling random things that I can’t imagine many people wanting. As we got further out these shops became
little shacks that sold all sorts of stuff from laptops to Lays (Walkers crisps
everywhere else in the world except the UK) and loads of bike helmet stalls
despite only maybe 1 in 20 people actually wear them on the road. There’d be miles and miles of nothing then
we’d blast through 25 seconds of bustling markets and shacks and cows and crazy
people on mopeds and a horrendous whiff of raw sewage then it would disappear
as quickly as it started and we’d be back in the wilderness again.
The further we got from
Delhi the more crazy it seemed to get.
Rules for what side of the road to drive down seemed to go out the
window when it came to mopeds or carts and cows started appearing on the side
of the road. They’d just stand around
eating garbage (which there is an abundance of everywhere) or wandering across
a dual carriageway stopping all the cars or laying down outside a shop with a
few locals sat around having a drink and a chat like you would with a pet dog
at a BBQ. All completely normal
behaviour for cows of course
We complain about our
council tax but I’ve never appreciated the need for bin men until coming
here. The people empty their bins onto
the road side and it just stays there! I
wonder what they think will happen to it
Doesn’t it take something stupid like 150 years for a crisp packet to
completely disintegrate? The cows aren’t
going to eat it either and the piles are getting rather high! We passed rivers and ponds that you couldn’t
even tell were water because they were so thick with floating trash.
2 lane 50kmh road, cow hanging out on the central reservation not giving a toss
The number of people being
transported on a moped increased too and it was common to see whole families on
one; the woman riding side saddle (performing a miracle that her sari doesn’t
get pulled into the tyre ripping it from her body and no doubt dragging her
under the wheels with it) and they have their kids sandwiched between them,
some very small children. None wear
crash helmets of course, none check their mirrors before they change lane and
of course, none have any right of way when it comes to cars, women and children
on board or not. I wouldn’t even want to
look up the death toll of these roads.
They increased the modes
of transport to include ox-pulled carriages too
Probably the better option for your brick transporting (but if not I did
see a pile or bricks for sale at one point)
Their ability to balance such vast amount of objects on one cart is
staggeringly impressive and not to mention gravity defying. I wish I could have
stood by the side of the road with my camera as I’d have had enough images to
produce one of those viral emails highlighting the non-existence of health and
safety and manual handling in these countries in 5 minutes flat!
It’s become clear now that
India do not use toilet roll. Hell
you’re lucky to get porcelain outside of café’s, anything along the roadside
was just a hole in the ground with a marked place of where to stand and a
standard issue ‘toilet fly’ to keep you company. I am at a miss as to how they successfully
cleanse after a poo. I tried the water
thing in Thailand just out of curiosity and it did nothing but wet the mess
around the anus, removing none of it.
Luckily we have brought tissues with us so I’ve not found myself in a
sticky situation as yet, we’ve probably just clogged up their drainage system
. I thought it might be a cost thing but
even shops don’t seem to have it either.
These folk need educating on the effectiveness of a nice roll of andrex!
I’m stumped as to how this hasn’t
reached the eastern part of our world. If
Andrew opened up over here no one would give a toss about sliced bread anymore,
this would be the invention of the centrury!
(I don’t even want to
imagine what the women do when it comes to their (cough) time of the month.
It was amusing when in the
middle of nowhere up popped 2 universities next door to each other (without any
other civilization for miles) then in a similarly obscure location there was a
development of 4 new building housing a McDonalds, a Hyundai shop and other
similar shops. What customer base they’re
catering for out there I wouldn’t know but I did notice ‘McDelivery’ on the
signs! We can invent toilet paper and
tampons but we still can’t order-in McDonalds.
UK 528;India 1.
We picked up a motorbike
escort along the way. 2 men spent over
an hour overtaking us, staring at me through the window then slowing down so
we’d overtake them and they’d stare some more then repeating the process. The creepy guy on the back blew me a kiss at
one point which made me gag a bit. I
understand they don’t get many white people here and I don’t mind posing for a
photo but he was just being a perv. He’d
been following us for an hour when we hit
toll road, as I didn’t see him straight after I presumed his seedy
gawping wasn’t worth 5 rupees and they’d turned around, but I was wrong. After they’d caught us up then slowed down to
gawp again I’d had enough and was worried that we were approaching Agra and I
didn’t want them following us to a hotel thinking I was a lone female traveller. Will had been asleep on my lap this whole
time (Will asleep! Surely not!) So I woke him up and I ducked down hoping
they’d think it was a different car.
They changed sides so they could see me hiding down low but a good stink
eye from the tall white man was enough to make them immediately pull off the
road and go back. Sick puppies.
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